My blog, my rules . . . bitch

I'm that bridge jumping friend your mother warned you about.
Aug 29 '14
organmeat:

This describes my entire texting relationship with everyone

organmeat:

This describes my entire texting relationship with everyone

(via dutchster & organmeat)

Aug 29 '14

wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

(via hate & wienrs)

Aug 29 '14
le0nard0-dicaprisun:

Shut that shit down

le0nard0-dicaprisun:

Shut that shit down

(via pricklylegs & le0nard0-dicaprisun)

Aug 27 '14

lemondifficult:

Applying for jobs is starting to feel a lot like

image

(via dutchster & lemondifficult)

Aug 27 '14

nutthing:

r u from europe because europiece of shit

(Source: phineasomg)

(via hate & phineasomg)

Aug 27 '14
wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

(Source: kallesdemos)

(via laughinguntilithurts & kallesdemos)

Aug 27 '14

psiioniic:

lifes too short to pretend to hate pop music

(via orgasmic-humor & psiioniic)

Aug 27 '14

human:

wtf did i just watch

(via laughinguntilithurts & human)

Aug 22 '14
newkidsonmycock18:

remember when shakira filmed a video from inside her vagina

newkidsonmycock18:

remember when shakira filmed a video from inside her vagina

(via jesuschristvevo & evnw-deactivated20140410)

Aug 22 '14

waynesworld1992:

my anaconda dont want none unless u got nugs hun

image

(via jesuschristvevo & waynesworld1992)

Aug 22 '14

susemoji:

new hat

(Source: poyzn)

(via artichoke-that-hoe & poyzn)

Aug 22 '14

maliciousmelons:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

(via jesuschristvevo & maliciousmelons)

Aug 22 '14
sexaulity:

endiot:

shebegb:

Oh, Mr. Biden!


im inventing time travel just to sit on that…

I never thought I’d say that I wanted Joe Biden to touch me

sexaulity:

endiot:

shebegb:

Oh, Mr. Biden!

im inventing time travel just to sit on that…

I never thought I’d say that I wanted Joe Biden to touch me

(via zackisontumblr & shebegb)

Aug 22 '14

excluhsive:

When my mom gives me the phone to talk to my relatives

image

(via dutchster & excluhsive-deactivated20140601)

Aug 22 '14
officalsquidward:

story of my life =/

officalsquidward:

story of my life =/

(Source: memewhore)

(via zackisontumblr & memewhore)